Who needs television when there is so much drama on Facebook.
Everything funnier when your supposed to be quiet..
I want someone to look at me the way I look at cupcakes!!
Save water drink beer.
6 Peg Loading .. 😀
Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software…it’s called #Monday, please fix it
Always wear cute pajamas to bed you’ll never know who you will meet in your dreams.
God is really creative , i mean ..just look at me 😛
Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire.
When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the.
I wake up when I cant hold my pee in any longer.
My father always told me, ‘Find a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.
Life is too short smile while you still have teeth.
My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.
If College has taught us anything, it’s texting without looking 🙂
I’m Jealous Of My Parents… I’ll Never Have A Kid As Cool As Theirs!
Here my dad comes on whatsapp… From now on my status would be ‘***no status***’ or just a smiley.
Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.
I Like to study.. Arithmetic – NO … world history – NO …. chemistry – NO …. GIRLS – YES!
Friends are forever, until they get in a relationship!! 😛
People call me mike .. You can call me tonight.. :p
In Modern Politics, Even The Leader Of The Free World Needs Help From The Sultan Of Facebookistan!
C.L.A.S.S- come late and start sleeping 🙂
Faces YOU Make ON The Toilet lol (o_o) (>_<) (0_0) (^_^)
Everything is 10x funnier when you are not supposed to laugh.
People who exercise live longer, but what’s the point when those extra years are spent at gym.
Relationship Status: Looking for a WiFi connection.
It may look like I’m deep in thought, but 99% of the time I’m just thinking about what food to eat later.
Checking your symptoms on Google and accepting that fact that you’re going to die.
When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?
Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.
We are WTF generation …. WhatsApp, Twitter and Facebook 😀
Having a best friend with the same mental disorder is a blessing. LOL
It’s been 70+ years, Tom. You’re never going to eat Jerry 🙂
I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone. 🙂
There’s like 7 billion people in this world and no one wants to date me. I hate this world … huh
Dear Lord, all I ask for a chance to prove that winning the lottery won’t make a bad person.
I don’t usually sleep enough, but when I do, it’s still not enough 😉
My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. lolz
The only thing I gained so far in THIS YEAR is weight 🙂
I am not addicted to WHATS APP. I only use it when I have time ……. lunch time, break time, bed time, this time, that time, any time, all the time. 🙂
Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who can not be handled by his parents anymore.
The most powerful words other than I LOVE YOU is “Salary is Credited” 🙂
Is there anything more awkward than when you are singing along to a song on youtube and the music stops loading.
Years of education, solving tough problems, handling complex issues, yet we take a while standing before glass doors thinking whether to Push or Pull.
Flirtationship: More than a friendship and less than a relationship.
Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat.
In bed, it’s 6AM you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it’s 7:45. At school it’s 1:30, close your eyes for 5 minutes, it’s 1:31
I wonder what happens when doctor’s wife eats an apple a day. 🙂
GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.
I only need 3 things in life: Food, Wifi, Sleep 🙂
Boys, if you don’t look like calvin klein models, don’t expect us to look like victoria secrets angels. (From All Bachelor Girls Association) 🙂
I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
TODAY has been cencelled. Go back to BED 🙂
I’ve had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. 🙂
Some people should have multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.
At least mosquito’s are attracted to me.